Chapter 13

I can't handle her crying again poor lama she looked so sad in any minute mumkn tnjn! i don't wanna see her ketha g3da tt3thb when she got out of the bathroom with this stunning dress on her which fits her perfectly she looked so happy like nothing happened i don't wanna ruin it for her. i had to act along.

Lama: enshallah thank you!! and hey do you think i should wear a necklace? wela the glitter is enough

Abdullah: no i think its fine like that 

Lama: okay no necklace then

I plugged my curlier and sat 

Lama: uf mali 5lg aswi sha3ri

and i started to curl it.. wore my heels and went down i waited for hours

8pm: 

abdullah didnt leave me alone 5ayf a3ml 7aja bnfsi or i breakdown.

Lama: klm mama 5leha tjy gbl mayjoun

he remained silent

Lama: mar7 tklm? uf okay ana bklm

w ana jya i dial my moms number mama td5l

she looked really pale and black.

Lama: mama a5eran yallah bsr3a aked hum jayen bl6reg

mama gave abdullah the shocked look, he told her that i know ahmeds dead bs how i acted and dressed was totally different I can feel ahmed giving mama looks behind me!

Mama: 7beebti lama eg3di aklmk shwaya

Lama: mama mafi wagt!!!

Mama: 7beebti ahmed ra7 elmkan a7sn min henaa enshallah ra7 3nd rbk

I started to laugh like something was extremely funny happened

and then I cried my tears out until i blacked out.

I woke up finding myself laying on a hospital bed.

Lama: wain ana? 

Mama: 7beebti enty blmstshfa

Lama: wsh 9ar feni??

Mama: o'3ma 3leek w mafek enshallah ela el3afya la t5afeen

Lama: lesh o'3ma 3lay?

and anoud entered the room

Anoud: Laaama 7beebtiiii ya gaaalbi 

and she was in tears

Lama: umm meen enty?

anoud stepped back and looked at my mother.

umi 3la 6oul 6l3t bra el'3urfa running without saying any word

Anoud: lama ana 3noud? shfek t'3yrt 3leek 3shan b6ni y3ni

she came closer

Lama: ma3rftk wallah! esmk 3noud elesh?

Anoud: ana 3noud alxx you're my best friend and im yours since 5 yrs old kna swa blmdrsa every year m3 b3'6 bl9f magd frgona t5rjna min mdars elXX 

Lama: ana m5trja min mdars AlXX?

and my mom entered with the doctor, the doctor came up to me w he did few eye checking and stuff b3den he started asking me questions about my life which i didnt know the answers for 3noud w mama kanu yjawboun and we all realized that ive lost my memory!!!

All of my memories 7ta ahmed's eli i didnt imagine forgetting it!

Mama: kef y3ni ya doctor mafi aml trj3 thakrtha?

Doctor: lsa mabyn m3ana bs law sm7 allah 9dg fagdt thakrtha el7al elw7eed hwa ena tswi her routine zay daymn

Mama: bs elroutine 7gha mu hena blondon w eli tg3d m3a w her only routine twfa ams

Doctor: aa ajal min el9adma?

Mama: a'6ahr

Doctor: etha min el9dma sahl trj3 thakrtha 7awlo twrounha 9wr thkroha b ashya2 hathi el7alat tstmr agl min 5 hours bs a7yann matrj3 klha

Mama: 6yb shukran ya doctor allah y36ek el3afya

Anoud: 5alti yemken hathi 5era!

Mama: shloun 5era ya 3noud wsh tgoulen elbnt mat'thkrk

Anoud: la ag9d enha ra7ma min rbi 3shan tnsa ahmed

Mama: ee wallah 9adga yalet trj3 kl thakrtha w tbga ahmed

Anoud: ee wallah ya 5alti 7ram wallah tg63 elglb

Mama: t3ali emshi nwreha 9wr w nthkrha b ashya2

Anoud: 7bebti lama adri enk mat'thkreni bs enshallah you will b3d matshoufen hal 9wr 

w she started to scroll the pictures of me and her w our friends w tgouli 3nhum

"shoufi hatha byoum t5arojna kna nbki 3shan kbrna w btfrg" anoud said

"kef tfrgna" Lama asked

"enty r7ti london tdrseen architecture w ana hena adrs law"

while she was scrolling fj2a 6l3t 9wrti ana w ahmed and she scrolled fast 3shan mashofha

Lama: raj3yyyy raaaj3y

Anoud: haa dgega 

w wartni 9oura '3er

Lama: laa mush hathi fi 9oura knt m3 wa7d a3rfa!!!

Anoud looked at my mother and my mother nodded her head y3ni zay eli r'6t twreni

Anoud rj3t el9oura

I kept looking at the picture zooming through ahmeds face

Lama: I looked so happy men hatha

Anoud: hatha um ahmed

i gave a big sigh, i can feel it my memory is coming back again

To the day i took the picture with him

London, 16 November

Ahmed: lamoyti ya 7ubi elawl w ela5er

Lama: tdri b'3yaabk wsh y9eeer tdm3 f3eni dnytyyy w a9b7 blaa shoufk '6reeer

Ahmed: 9dg? law '3bt btdm3 f3enk dnytk? 

Lama: ee b9b7 bla shoufk '6reer

Ahmed: allah allah romancya elyoum lazm nst'3l elfur9a yallah boseni

Lama: yallah bs ay romancya knt aslklk a9ln

Ahmed: kthaba law '3bt btswen aswa2 a9ln 

Lama: w3 bl3aks bsjd sjoud shukr

Ahmed: e7lfy

Lama: esh tb'3a ent min 7yati uf

w '6rbta 3la 9dra 

Ahmed: abek tbouseni yallah yallah bsr3a

Lama: 7lm ebles bljanna

Ahmed: ajal ana eli babosk

Lama: ketha yu3tbr e'3t9ab ra7 ashtki 3lek w ysjnonk ll2bd w tmout yay

Ahmed: allah allah e'3t9ab mra wa7da a3othbellah

and he backed off acting like hes scared while he was laughing

Ahmed: bwrek shswet

Lama: wsh swet

and he took his shirt off in public!!

Lama: omg are you crazy m3rfkk tfshl wa5r

Ahmed: shoufi 

it was a 'L' letter tattoo on his cgest where his heart is

Lama: ma a9dgk yes you are officially crazyyy 

Ahmed: kefi im crazy for you

Lama: t3rf enk en6rft min r7mt allah??? w etha ahlk shafooh w ay a7dd wsh btgoul!!

Ahmed: bgoulhum ana 5arouf lama w eli mu 3ajba ynt7r??

I laughed he sounded so childish yet so cute!

Lama: tbi td5l elnar:(?

Ahmed: hey shfeek hatha temporarily=))

Lama: uf a7sb

Ahmed: ana mashrb w wla shay w tbeni 3la tattoo a5rbha mfrou'6 t'th8een feni

Lama: rj3 your shirt 3shan ath8 fek yallah

I laughed

Ahmed: 3la shr6

Lama: yarb mu abosk

Ahmed: boseni

Lama: Laa2aaa

Ahmed: okay ajal many mrj3ha w dgega

and he walked to a girl 

Ahmed: hey there

The girl: hi

and she looked really cheap trying to flirt

Lama: esh g3da tswyyy?

Ahmed: can you believe that my girlfriend wont kiss me?

The girl: oh you got a girlfriend

Lama: um hi. 

The girl: why wouldnt you kiss him hes hot i would totally kiss him

Lama: kli tbn ya w95a ya bnt elklb enshallah td5len elnarr b3di 3n zouji

and i give her a bitchy smile.

The girl: sorry

Ahmed: oh im sorry she doesnt speak english she said she likes your purse

I gave him a silly look!

The girl: oh since she doesnt speak english you wanna go out tonight to the club i would wink but she'll understand

Ahmed was laughing so haaard and I felt like a fire in my heart i was so jealous!

Lama: excuse my language but go fuck yourself you fucking bitch

Ahmed sa7bni gbl ma n6ag ana wyaha blyd=))

Ahmed: ya zeeen eli y'3arouuunn

Lama: ana a'3ar 3leek w3 w3! 

Ahmed: ajal shfeek glbti 3lbnt 

Lama: 3shanha cheap esh elyyy 

Ahmed: oh y3ni you wouldnt mind me going with her tonight

Lama: oh my god 

and i walked away acting dramatic LOL!

Ahmed: amzaa7 wallah wagfyy shfeek 39bti ana mjnoun a6l3 wla a7b '3eerk kan su2al 3shan bs aktshf etha t'3areen w you obviously dooo;)

Lama: shut up you dont have to point that out

Ahmed: lesh mu 3eeb bl3aks!! g3da tfar7eeni a7bk wallah!!

Lama: 7ta ana 

and my face turned to a tomato.. 

Ahmed turned his face, pointed at my cheeks w got it closer to my lips

Ahmed: yallah wla bz3l w b6l3 m3 thek

and i give him a kiss w lf wajha when his lips met mine 3la 6wl i stepped back

Lama: yaa 5araaa i wont believe you agaain w no more kisses

It was the best seconds of my life that i would never forget and i did not forget!!!

I remember it like it was yesterday I relived the kiss and it almost felt real!

back to reality..

Lama: ahmeeeed!!! t'thkrtaa!!! where is heee?

I smiled

Mama looked down and anoud tear felt down

the memories they're all coming back anoud, my friends, moments, w ahm shay the first thing i remembered ahmed.

I remembered that ahmed died yesterday w awl masm3t el5br min abdullah a5oy I relived that moment w yaleetni i didn't! I actually relived every single memory kl shay!!! y5wf y3ni ka2nk g3da tt7asben youm el8yama kl shay min youm ma ana 9'3eera b thwani i relived them all!

I brust into tears looking at my hands..

Lama: hes dead.. ahmeds dead.

Anoud: allah kreem 7beebti

giving me a side hug

my mom couldnt handle my crying fa ra7t bra 

I kept crying all day non stoping my eyes they were red and puffy from all the crying and my face looked so pale like i was dead and I do believe that Im dead cause my heart; ahmed is dead.

I went back home the next day w kl step i take a7s eldenya g3da tdour, all my clothes smelled like ahmed it was like he was here.

2 days maru

Mama: 7beebti lama mayseer eli tswena f7alk eft7i elbaaab 7raaam 3leeek tsween feni kethaa

she was crying

w min jd fkrt feha esh thanb mama a3yshha bl7zn eli ana feh 7ram tshoufni abki ketha gdamha w 7absa nafsi wla akl wla shay

Mama: 6yb ya mama rdy 3lay la ykoun 9ar fek 7aja

I wiped my tears away w i faked smile trying to act strong w ft7t elbab elmama w 3la 6wl she hugged me

Mama: 7beebti entyy enty kwaysa 

w she started to check on me law swet shay feni like cutting or anything

and she forced me to eat w i did gdamha 3shan ma tshel hami

w i went to my room locked the door w jbt a tooth brush w d5lta f my throat to throw up all the food i ate.